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Best drunken quote

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:14 am
by Piestar
Can't stop thinking of last night and how hilarious my mate was... totally wankered, she came out a toilet cubicle, put her hand in her crotch and goes...

'Am I still pissing?!!'

What are your favourite drunken quotes? put em down and make us giggle.

And make it non festival related cos I know most people will probably say 'you insulted my university' yadda yadda... gimmie something I aint heard before :P

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:41 pm
by markyg
Not a quote as such but years ago my mate and I were drinking at my house. We both passed out in my room. In the early morning I woke up and he had vanished. I looked round the house and couldn`t find him so I assumed he had gone home.

About an hour later I heard my dad shouting "What the frakk are you doing?" Seconds later my mate bolts past my room and out the house. Turns out he was that pissed in the middle of the night he had gone into my parents room, put my dads trousers on that he had left at the bottom of the bed and fallen asleep. :lol:

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 4:34 pm
by prayforvillains
Jim on the Sunday night at Sonisphere - "WHY ARE EVERYONE MOVING AROUND SO MUCH."

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 5:55 pm
by Disgruntled Jim
prayforvillains wrote:Jim on the Sunday night at Sonisphere - "WHY ARE EVERYONE MOVING AROUND SO MUCH."


<3!

The one I remember most was Adam on the saturday night "YOUR GRAN'S DEAD!!"

One outside of Sonisphere..hmm..

One of my gobshite cousins was staring into the sky at a party and shouted out "OMG LOOK! LOOK!A SHOOTING STAR!!!"
To which someone replied "That's a moth,leah.."

Other than that,I usually can't remember drunken quotes,because I'm usually the one who says them while too drunk.. :/

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 6:01 pm
by Piestar
it would have been 'your nan is dead' and he says that all the time anyway so it doesn't constitute as a genuine drink fuelled quote :P

loving markys story, haha

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 8:24 pm
by ImmortallyInsane101
Possibly my mate to a girl at a house party:
"I'm drunk and you're still frakking ugly."

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 8:51 pm
by mrpaul
On a train to Manchester for New Year's night out, me and my mates sat on one side, a man and his son sat across the aisle. The kid won't shut the fuck up and he's really bloody annoying, proper posh sounding kid asking hundreds of pointless questions, and his dad's clearly embarrassed. So my mate turns to us and goes "I hope that kid either gets off the train or shuts the fuck up soon", kinda under his breath but clearly loud enough for the dad to hear it, the awkward silence that occurred for the next 5 minutes before he moved away was hilarious :lol:

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 12:45 pm
by Fade
A old mate of mine, quite/very drunk, after unsuccessfully hitting on almost every woman in the bar turns to a slightly older lady and uses the immortal chat up line... "You must be single"!

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:35 pm
by AverageJoe
Snuggling with my girlfriend in the tent at Sonisphere and then hearing outside "MY NIPPLES HURT WHEN I TWIST DEM TOO MUCH!"

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 4:48 pm
by Piestar
I think my 'are those halal pork scratchings' one from the weekend was quite laughable.

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 6:59 pm
by Stufin135
My mate a couple of bottles of vodka latter going "All I need for a good night is 2 hookers, a bottle of vodka, a bag of Lime and a shovel"

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:58 pm
by lolatheminxx
My friend Sarah got sick on the way home from a night out, really badly(and she never usually gets sick from drinking). She sat down at a bus stop and started nearly crying "I think there's sick in my eye, can I have a tissue?" but none of had any. There was a seconds silence before Nat said "I have a mars bar wrapper" and another pause before she held out her hand and said "That'll do".

It was more of a funny/gross story than a quote really.... Maybe you had to be there but it was frakking hilarious at the time.

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:04 pm
by Disgruntled Jim
This one I apparently said at a party last week : "Anthony,if I did give sexual favours to people for money,I 'd frakking have money!" :roll:

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 3:15 am
by Hysteria
'I'm gonna come at you like Mega-Shark!'
'my penis is a giant octapus'

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:32 pm
by the_arsonist
as i was (barely) walking home i turned and genuinely questioned my girlfriend after about ten minutes of silence, "what are we gonna do with the cat skin?"

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2010 6:40 pm
by morganianskulls
I was at a party and introduced myself to this guy, "Hi I'm Ian" to which he replied "how did you know?" being slightly tipsy this confuddled me a tad, so I said "how did I know what?" "how did you know I was Armenian" I looked at him for a second while my brain processed this info and then said "I didn't I SAID HI I'M IAN!!" i suppose you had to be there lol. other than that the only other drunken story I can remember is waking up on Friday morning at Bloodstock '08 in my tent completely naked except for my leather jacket with absolutely no recollection of how i got there or who undressed me lol

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:41 am
by SoullessToaster
errrrm
well
probably
"why have i got cheese on my hands!!??!!"

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:14 pm
by Jaytee
Telling a work collegues mum "im gonna smash you and then have your daughter for seconds" will always live on for a while.

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 2:34 pm
by Piestar
ahahhaha oh my.

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:04 pm
by SoullessToaster
Jaytee wrote:Telling a work collegues mum "im gonna smash you and then have your daughter for seconds" will always live on for a while.

oh dear :shock:

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:36 pm
by benjodave
My friend once said: "I'm glad I beat one off before I came out, otherwise I'd be arse-raping everyone"

He denies it to this day.

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:10 pm
by jadeylemonadey
This thread is great haha I can't think of any at the moment but I will soon :P

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:53 pm
by Piestar
I have a video on youboob from a LONG LONG time ago of Adam arguing with my best mate about tea. My fav quote from that night was the 'fuck the shut up!!!!' from Adam, ahah

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:49 am
by NYMdelaney
'I'd well have done Lady Macbeth, she seemed like a right dirty bitch'

Re: Best drunken quote

Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:53 am
by Jasonisback
lolatheminxx wrote:My friend Sarah got sick on the way home from a night out, really badly(and she never usually gets sick from drinking). She sat down at a bus stop and started nearly crying "I think there's sick in my eye, can I have a tissue?" but none of had any. There was a seconds silence before Nat said "I have a mars bar wrapper" and another pause before she held out her hand and said "That'll do".


Best one on here