Best drunken quote

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Piestar
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Best drunken quote

Postby Piestar » Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:14 am

Can't stop thinking of last night and how hilarious my mate was... totally wankered, she came out a toilet cubicle, put her hand in her crotch and goes...

'Am I still pissing?!!'

What are your favourite drunken quotes? put em down and make us giggle.

And make it non festival related cos I know most people will probably say 'you insulted my university' yadda yadda... gimmie something I aint heard before :P
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markyg
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby markyg » Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:41 pm

Not a quote as such but years ago my mate and I were drinking at my house. We both passed out in my room. In the early morning I woke up and he had vanished. I looked round the house and couldn`t find him so I assumed he had gone home.

About an hour later I heard my dad shouting "What the frakk are you doing?" Seconds later my mate bolts past my room and out the house. Turns out he was that pissed in the middle of the night he had gone into my parents room, put my dads trousers on that he had left at the bottom of the bed and fallen asleep. :lol:
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prayforvillains
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby prayforvillains » Thu Oct 07, 2010 4:34 pm

Jim on the Sunday night at Sonisphere - "WHY ARE EVERYONE MOVING AROUND SO MUCH."
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Disgruntled Jim » Thu Oct 07, 2010 5:55 pm

prayforvillains wrote:Jim on the Sunday night at Sonisphere - "WHY ARE EVERYONE MOVING AROUND SO MUCH."


<3!

The one I remember most was Adam on the saturday night "YOUR GRAN'S DEAD!!"

One outside of Sonisphere..hmm..

One of my gobshite cousins was staring into the sky at a party and shouted out "OMG LOOK! LOOK!A SHOOTING STAR!!!"
To which someone replied "That's a moth,leah.."

Other than that,I usually can't remember drunken quotes,because I'm usually the one who says them while too drunk.. :/

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Piestar
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Piestar » Thu Oct 07, 2010 6:01 pm

it would have been 'your nan is dead' and he says that all the time anyway so it doesn't constitute as a genuine drink fuelled quote :P

loving markys story, haha
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby ImmortallyInsane101 » Sat Oct 09, 2010 8:24 pm

Possibly my mate to a girl at a house party:
"I'm drunk and you're still frakking ugly."
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby mrpaul » Sat Oct 09, 2010 8:51 pm

On a train to Manchester for New Year's night out, me and my mates sat on one side, a man and his son sat across the aisle. The kid won't shut the fuck up and he's really bloody annoying, proper posh sounding kid asking hundreds of pointless questions, and his dad's clearly embarrassed. So my mate turns to us and goes "I hope that kid either gets off the train or shuts the fuck up soon", kinda under his breath but clearly loud enough for the dad to hear it, the awkward silence that occurred for the next 5 minutes before he moved away was hilarious :lol:
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Fade
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Fade » Sun Oct 10, 2010 12:45 pm

A old mate of mine, quite/very drunk, after unsuccessfully hitting on almost every woman in the bar turns to a slightly older lady and uses the immortal chat up line... "You must be single"!
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby AverageJoe » Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:35 pm

Snuggling with my girlfriend in the tent at Sonisphere and then hearing outside "MY NIPPLES HURT WHEN I TWIST DEM TOO MUCH!"

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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Piestar » Wed Oct 13, 2010 4:48 pm

I think my 'are those halal pork scratchings' one from the weekend was quite laughable.
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Stufin135 » Wed Oct 13, 2010 6:59 pm

My mate a couple of bottles of vodka latter going "All I need for a good night is 2 hookers, a bottle of vodka, a bag of Lime and a shovel"
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby lolatheminxx » Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:58 pm

My friend Sarah got sick on the way home from a night out, really badly(and she never usually gets sick from drinking). She sat down at a bus stop and started nearly crying "I think there's sick in my eye, can I have a tissue?" but none of had any. There was a seconds silence before Nat said "I have a mars bar wrapper" and another pause before she held out her hand and said "That'll do".

It was more of a funny/gross story than a quote really.... Maybe you had to be there but it was frakking hilarious at the time.
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Disgruntled Jim
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Disgruntled Jim » Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:04 pm

This one I apparently said at a party last week : "Anthony,if I did give sexual favours to people for money,I 'd frakking have money!" :roll:

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Hysteria
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Hysteria » Sat Nov 06, 2010 3:15 am

'I'm gonna come at you like Mega-Shark!'
'my penis is a giant octapus'
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the_arsonist
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby the_arsonist » Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:32 pm

as i was (barely) walking home i turned and genuinely questioned my girlfriend after about ten minutes of silence, "what are we gonna do with the cat skin?"
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morganianskulls
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby morganianskulls » Thu Dec 23, 2010 6:40 pm

I was at a party and introduced myself to this guy, "Hi I'm Ian" to which he replied "how did you know?" being slightly tipsy this confuddled me a tad, so I said "how did I know what?" "how did you know I was Armenian" I looked at him for a second while my brain processed this info and then said "I didn't I SAID HI I'M IAN!!" i suppose you had to be there lol. other than that the only other drunken story I can remember is waking up on Friday morning at Bloodstock '08 in my tent completely naked except for my leather jacket with absolutely no recollection of how i got there or who undressed me lol

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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby SoullessToaster » Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:41 am

errrrm
well
probably
"why have i got cheese on my hands!!??!!"

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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Jaytee » Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:14 pm

Telling a work collegues mum "im gonna smash you and then have your daughter for seconds" will always live on for a while.

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Piestar
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Piestar » Fri Feb 04, 2011 2:34 pm

ahahhaha oh my.
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SoullessToaster
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby SoullessToaster » Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:04 pm

Jaytee wrote:Telling a work collegues mum "im gonna smash you and then have your daughter for seconds" will always live on for a while.

oh dear :shock:

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benjodave
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby benjodave » Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:36 pm

My friend once said: "I'm glad I beat one off before I came out, otherwise I'd be arse-raping everyone"

He denies it to this day.

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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby jadeylemonadey » Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:10 pm

This thread is great haha I can't think of any at the moment but I will soon :P

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Piestar
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Piestar » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:53 pm

I have a video on youboob from a LONG LONG time ago of Adam arguing with my best mate about tea. My fav quote from that night was the 'fuck the shut up!!!!' from Adam, ahah
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NYMdelaney
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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby NYMdelaney » Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:49 am

'I'd well have done Lady Macbeth, she seemed like a right dirty bitch'

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Re: Best drunken quote

Postby Jasonisback » Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:53 am

lolatheminxx wrote:My friend Sarah got sick on the way home from a night out, really badly(and she never usually gets sick from drinking). She sat down at a bus stop and started nearly crying "I think there's sick in my eye, can I have a tissue?" but none of had any. There was a seconds silence before Nat said "I have a mars bar wrapper" and another pause before she held out her hand and said "That'll do".


Best one on here
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