A few apologies

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jonny_sniper
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A few apologies

Postby jonny_sniper » Tue Jul 12, 2016 5:28 pm

You're probably all close to keeling over in shock that I have 'returned' to the forums. The truth is, I'm not, really. I just felt that as I finally have my life going in a direction that works for me, that a few apologies were in order for my frankly atrocious past reputation on this forum. Some of you may not even be on here anymore, but if any of you know how to extend my apologies to those who are no longer active on this forum, please do so. I just felt that this was the best platform to make some apologies considering most of my problems when I was in my years 18-20 were started and caused by my actions on- and in relation to- this forum.

Firstly, a general apology for the sheer amount of posts. I genuinely feel ashamed to realise that even after all this time, some people have come nowhere near catching my post-count even after being consistent members on this site. So to anyone and everyone, sorry for the sheer domination I once exerted on this forum.

A huge apology to Amanda. I should have paid you the money for the shirt. I was young, out of a job, struggling for cash and I should have scraped it together somewhere and been honest with you about the problems I was having with my finances. You are a lovely person and I treated you like absolute gooseberry. Feel free to email me, or text me (if you still have my number) and I will sort out getting the money to you. Lloyd still is my friend on FB so that would perhaps be the best way.

To Cazzy and anyone I pissed off in 2010: I was an asshole. I was young, over-excited, struggling with a crippling lack of confidence and an anxiety that I wasn't mature enough to handle or to keep under wraps. I know for a fact I legitimate made the weekend of at least two boardies more difficult because I let everything get on top of me, and that is pretty sucky. I was so lacking in self-confidence that I believed being big and loud- much louder than my actual persona is now- was the way to come across in a positive light, which is a frankly idiotic view to have but hey, I WAS an idiot back then.

To anyone who tried to reason with me and not use insults, thank you, and also sorry for throwing it back in your face or not taking heed of your advice. I see now that I rarely exercised forum etiquette, had no notion of people's private conversations, and I also acted as if a post count was a badge of honour when, in reality, it is literally just a post count. As you veterans probably remember, I made a lot of enemies on this site. Understandably so. To Kipper, who probably said some harsh things with reason about and to me, I apologise. I acted like a jerk on a consistent basis which made me easy to hate and an easy target- a change of attitude from myself would have changed other people's attitudes. To Walnut, I am also sorry in my own way. We never saw eye to eye but I realise that I acted in a way that made me an easy target. It gave people an excuse to direct their hatred at me because, dammit, I was an annoying little shit-bag. To those of you I met in person or didn't, I am sorry.

I have, since I left the forums, been diagnosed with depression and anxiety which I get weekly counselling for. My inability to handle this when I was younger and my stubbornness to accept that MY behaviour is what made me a target just made situations worse. I have a girlfriend now who I live with and am very happy with, and I have managed to move forward with my life in a positive way that doesn't negatively impact on people around me. I have also mellowed considerably socially and, in fact, due to my anxiety, am actually quite quiet around large groups of people. That's because I no longer try to hide my anxiety by acting like a total jack-ass and instead understand that my anxiety doesn't have to define the image of myself that I give to other people.

If there is anybody I have missed out, then apologies to them for whatever I did or said to anger/annoy them. Like I said...I was a little shit-turd.

All the best, boys and girls.

jonny_sniper
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YOU ARE THE SICKNESS IN BETWEEN.
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MrsRainey
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Re: A few apologies

Postby MrsRainey » Wed Jul 13, 2016 7:23 pm

Wow... Have you been thinking about this all these years??
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welshAC_81
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Re: A few apologies

Postby welshAC_81 » Thu Jul 14, 2016 9:38 am

I actually still have that shirt.... Found it the other day.
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King_Walnut
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Re: A few apologies

Postby King_Walnut » Sat Jul 16, 2016 12:03 pm

I've been struggling to sleep for the past 6 years. Tossing and turning. Thinking over and over how a weird forum user never acknowledged that he was weird. You've allowed me to breathe again. To live my life again. Thank you so much.
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metalicbear wrote:Axl doesn't have timekeeping issues

OneZeroOneUK
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Re: A few apologies

Postby OneZeroOneUK » Sun Jul 17, 2016 5:14 pm

Really?

Also: Moved from main forum to chat/off-topic

King_Walnut
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Re: A few apologies

Postby King_Walnut » Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:24 am

Oh yeah, cos it's so important to keep order amongst the 6 posts a year on a forum for a dead festival.
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metalicbear wrote:Axl doesn't have timekeeping issues


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